A song marches through my mind. No, that’s wrong; it’s just part of a song. It wouldn’t be so annoying if I could remember more than two lines – or even what it’s called. I think it was some 70s glam rock group, but I’m probably wrong. At least the rhythm is good for walking.

One, two, one, two
Keep on go-ing
Three, four, three, four
Don’t start slow-ing.

If I had one of those fancy phones I could be walking to complete songs; songs that I’d chosen. Not some tune that flew through a passing car window and burrowed its way into my brain. Even a radio with some irritating DJ would be an improvement on this appalling earworm.

One, two, one, two
Time is flee-ting
Three, four, three, four
Heart is bea-ting

Triillll! Triillll! Triillll!

My feet falter, falling off the beat. Finally! I’ve finished on the treadmill – what’s next?

Row, row, row your boat
Staying in one place
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
How I hate this place!